sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
