It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
