Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
