do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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