i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
