After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Holy shit dude........stairs
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
