does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
