Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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