I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
