I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Randomize
