margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
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