his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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