Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
It's rum buckets o'clock
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
