dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
