Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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