I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
