I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
