Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
