he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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