Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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