on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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