so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
