i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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