I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
