We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
