I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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