.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
