found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
