You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
