the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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