no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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