Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize