I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Randomize