He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
