Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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