stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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