I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize