I puked a lego.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
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