My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
