Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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