if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
