No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
