Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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