I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
