Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
