"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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