Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
