we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
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