How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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