i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize