It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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