Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize