I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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