I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Randomize
