Im at strip club and am horny
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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