Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Randomize
