i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Well I just put wine in my tea
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
