The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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