what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
You dont lie about slip and slides
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
