everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize