If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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