watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
he fucked my hip out of place.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
