I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
