I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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